The mind

5 Safe Havens in Days of Grey

In days when you can’t handle things, find a way to do your most favourite favourite thing. Something small, something simple that makes your eyes flutter from excitement, and cheeks ache from smiling so hard.

The past couple days have kind of felt grey for me. When I get really worked up and exhausted, the physical exhaustion infects my mental state and I get so overwhelmed that all I can do to let it all out, is cry. Especially when it gets dreary outside (which I love on most days, but some days I swim in the sadness a little too much).

And then a sad song comes on the radio, a song that reminds you of a certain state and struggle in your life. And once you let one song slide, you welcome them all, and suddenly you find yourself driving home from work at 9pm on a rainy day, listening to old school 90’s R&B, crying about that boy from kindergarten who promised to marry you while you were pushing a baby stroller and flipping your toy veil (I’m just kidding….kind of…).

One sad thing reminds me of another sad thing, and then I just become stuck in the cycle of feeling lost or empty over things that happened years ago. Thinking about the close friendships I had in middle school, people who moved away from me and we lost touch, people who I thought would stay in my life longer but had plans of their own.

It’s like those things never leave me. And all I see are blurred car lights, flashes in reds and yellows, rain mirroring the unsettlement in my heart.

So on those days, after feeling all the feels (sometimes there’s no other way through it), I like to do at least one or a few things that make me feel better. Things that I know will make me happy in the moment. That’s all you can ask for.

I decided to write a list of my favourite things that make light up my soul:

1. Drinking my favourite iced coffee drink. I used to never drink coffee before. Working at Starbucks really changes you (at least my experience did…a lot more than you’d ever think…). The drink is a venti iced blonde vanilla latte with 4 pumps. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it ^__^ Treat yoself (my inner dialogue or motto throughout most days, where I definitely should not treat myself…oops…)

2. Watching my favourite youtube daily vlogger family: KKandbabyJ. I can’t explain the pure joy I receive from watching this cute young couple’s relationship with each other, and their beautiful children. I watch their vlogs and can’t stop smiling or grinning the entire time. They never fail to make me feel better, maybe it’s because their happiness is so infectious; they just genuinely love each other so much, and are so hilarious and relatable in the way they show their lives. I can feel their warmth, and no matter how shitty I feel, I will finish a video feeling a sense of peace and settlement, like everything is going to be okay. Find things that you know will inspire you.

3. Sending memes to my favourite people. There is just an emotional release you feel when you see a meme about an over-dramatization of an inconvenience, third world problems, and the daily struggles of dealing with certain types of people.  I know you know what I’m talking about, with kermit the frog and his lipton tea, or squidward and his self-deprecating humour! It’s like you release tension by knowing that your friends suffer in the same way you do. I think it’s so pure when you see your best friend mentioned you in a facebook comment, or a coworker bestie commented on your newest instagram photo. I guess the point I’m trying to make is emotional support through social media is important.

4. Wearing my favourite rose gold necklace. Somehow it makes me feel whole, makes me feel safe, and simply just me. My parents gave it to me for my 18th birthday, and I’ve been wearing it pretty much every day ever since. It’s the same with my mustard-coloured scrunchie that I stole from my mom. It’s probably from dollarama or something, but it looks vintage-y and I just love the way it looks on my hand, so I wear it. Or the sky blue ombre butterfly hair clip I use on my hair all the time. It’s these cute quirky puzzle-pieces that work together to paint your identity, and make you who you are for the time being. They might change tomorrow, who knows. But for today, do what makes you feel safe. Wear your comfiest clothes to be a cozy and bundled up little pillow fort, or dress up and put on your favourite vampy lipstick, whatever creates your confidence.

5. Hugs. My weakness. I love that feeling of hugging a person, and when you’re about to let go, they clasp you even tighter. Nothing is purer or more precious than that. Those hugs have the power to heal you. Let them heal you.

I think the biggest thing that helps me is writing about whatever I’m feeling or learning through these various stages and phases of life. The clarity of understanding why people do certain things (and accepting that sometimes you will never understand, and maybe you don’t have to) by just exploring it through streams of consciousness creates personal relief for me. I especially try to creatively challenge myself through my instagram posts, and captions about thoughts I’m battling with, and just being positive and embracing our messy beings.

Things that give you hope and security, that is what you should be feeding your soul when it’s gloomy.

Oh and comfort food…that never fails! (somedays, all you need is a few sushi rolls with a good friend) ❤

 

 

 

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